What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
