is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
