I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
