Do you still have your period?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
