You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
