hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize