it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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