are you still at the devil's house?
thus making me awesome and them whores
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
