but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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