Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I've blown a few things in my day
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
