Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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