i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My nipple is on Facebook.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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