ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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