@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
