Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
