Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
