Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
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