We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize