hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
