He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
