I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
