I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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