Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
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I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
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I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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