I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
