The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
it hurts more in the daytime
I could have mohawked her pubes.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
