in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
