Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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