so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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