Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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