i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.