Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?

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  (303): He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay? http://tfl.nu/l4uw
  Replies (6) Good night (792) Bad night (1760)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.

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  (937): I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand. http://tfl.nu/sj9u
  Replies (31) Good night (8382) Bad night (681)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.

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  (860): I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination. http://tfl.nu/f55n
  Replies (4) Good night (3314) Bad night (650)
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  (619): View more from California

  He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.

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  (619): He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy. http://tfl.nu/8ucs
  Replies (14) Good night (1087) Bad night (5127)
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  (510): View more from California

  she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong

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  (510): she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong http://tfl.nu/3blf
  Replies (10) Good night (4259) Bad night (813)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?

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  (865): Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right? http://tfl.nu/ddd7
  Replies (10) Good night (1106) Bad night (2164)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day

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  (904): I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day http://tfl.nu/k829
  Replies (6) Good night (2142) Bad night (630)
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  (415): View more from California

  Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends

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  (415): Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends http://tfl.nu/sp4r
  Replies (1) Good night (971) Bad night (748)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.

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  (850): I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas. http://tfl.nu/47ku
  Replies (4) Good night (1162) Bad night (679)
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  (760): View more from California

  Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.

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  (760): Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t. http://tfl.nu/80lo
  Replies (5) Good night (858) Bad night (469)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.

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  (502): He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on. http://tfl.nu/ri58
  Replies (7) Good night (1128) Bad night (454)
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  (805): View more from California

  There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it

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  (805): There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it http://tfl.nu/82im
  Replies (6) Good night (1142) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I want to be your penis for a week.

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  (913): I want to be your penis for a week. http://tfl.nu/ha1f
  Replies (10) Good night (566) Bad night (212)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today

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  (570): woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today http://tfl.nu/g1oy
  Replies (1) Good night (874) Bad night (245)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.

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  (417): I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow. http://tfl.nu/poey
  Replies (0) Good night (415) Bad night (283)

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