Texts From Last Night

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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.

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  (519): Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me. http://tfl.nu/7rdg
  Replies (12) Good night (3432) Bad night (828)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.

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  (248): going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school. http://tfl.nu/hpld
  Replies (30) Good night (6491) Bad night (1166)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.

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  (203): he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs. http://tfl.nu/0b7z
  Replies (18) Good night (5368) Bad night (1247)
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  (562): View more from California

  cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi

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  (562): cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi http://tfl.nu/kis8
  Replies (28) Good night (4513) Bad night (1822)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.

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  (205): Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am. http://tfl.nu/dyri
  Replies (6) Good night (1906) Bad night (1080)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?

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  (941): Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass? http://tfl.nu/sdtw
  Replies (4) Good night (1762) Bad night (623)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.

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  (785): Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage. http://tfl.nu/6qi6
  Replies (17) Good night (1235) Bad night (1794)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.

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  (847): I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE (1-847): This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to. http://tfl.nu/xeyh
  Replies (15) Good night (4400) Bad night (870)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class

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  (269): I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class http://tfl.nu/65qj
  Replies (7) Good night (2517) Bad night (581)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink

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  (215): no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink http://tfl.nu/rce8
  Replies (3) Good night (1524) Bad night (512)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".

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  (416): Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked". http://tfl.nu/jucw
  Replies (4) Good night (2127) Bad night (976)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...

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  (541): After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video... http://tfl.nu/lvkq
  Replies (3) Good night (605) Bad night (621)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS

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  (570): OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS http://tfl.nu/smac
  Replies (4) Good night (284) Bad night (830)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.

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  (614): Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle. http://tfl.nu/epty
  Replies (5) Good night (1532) Bad night (312)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.

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  (814): i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy. http://tfl.nu/h82b
  Replies (0) Good night (349) Bad night (204)

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