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• (714): View more from California

  I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  I'm going to rape someone's good day.

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

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• (727): View more from Florida

  what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.

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• (940): View more from Texas

  He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now

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• (562): View more from California

  guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".

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  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

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• (914): View more from New York

  He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike

  (1-914): View more from New York

  Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey

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• (786): View more from Florida

  I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.

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