I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it