I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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