yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
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I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
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I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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