I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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