i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I will be naked everywhere
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
