Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
