Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
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He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
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I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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