We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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