Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you would pick up someone in the library
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
