Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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