i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
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