the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
