Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
