I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
