Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize