My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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