Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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