Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Success! We fucked roommates!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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