it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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