The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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