so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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