i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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