Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
