We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
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drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
you had me at cake vodka
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I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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