she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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