he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
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