so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
