dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
