I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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