Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
