Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
