Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
