There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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