Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
