would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize