We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
