What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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