Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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