you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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